Against the stereotype of the lonely writer pecking away at a keyboard in some dreary attic, the Manitoba Writers’ Guild Critique Circles offer great community with fellow wordsmiths, and opportunity to share work. More, the Circles also expect participants to read the submissions of other writers and offer feedback.

As a participant, I take notes of feedback offered…but, as I’m churning out the first draft of a novel (vomit edition!), I’m squirrelling away those notes for draft number 2.

A fellow participant, Madison Kehler, is more disciplined than I about this. Madison is also working on a novel, a fictionalized account of her great-grandmother’s life as a Russian Mennonite teen who arrived in Winnipeg in the early 1900s. When I asked if she’d be willing to share her edits arising from Circle feedback, Madison graciously agreed.

Some Circle participants in our April 8 Circle were returnees, and familiar with Madison’s project; others were new. Feedback included comments about punctuation, suggestions that more description (time of year, type of house, etc.) would be helpful, and whether the character Tina (Madison’s great-grandma) has a physical reaction during an argument with her peers.

Here’s a sample. Madison’s edits are bolded.

Tina and Mrs. Neufeld met the Levys the next day. As they rode the trolley across the Maryland bridge and walked down the streets lined with bare trees, massive houses, and slush, Tina’s heart once again pounded. Though the Levys sounded like nice people, would they be? What if Tina and the Levy’s differing faiths caused conflict between them? It didn’t cause a problem for Vater though. Back in Russia, before the government began demanding farmers to give them grain, Vater sold wheat to brokers of many backgrounds, including Jewish ones. Vater always spoke well of them and taught his children about what Judaism was. Sometimes, the Jewish brokers would stay for meals and they smiled and laughed just the same as Mennonite men. What if the Levys were elitist like the Hamiltons? What if they made her throw out food?

Mrs. Neufeld and Tina walked through an iron gate, where Tina saw that the Levys lived in a long, white stone house. The house had two windows with burgundy shutters on each side of the burgundy door, and four matching windows above them on the second floor. After Mrs. Neufeld rang the doorbell, a woman with black hair pulled back in a bun opened the door.

By incorporating suggestions from the Critique Circle, readers now know it’s spring (slush, bare trees) and the characters are in a ritzy neighbourhood (massive houses). Although the main character is an immigrant with little experience outside the Mennonite world, we learn that she has had experience with Jewish people back in Russia–but that she also has questions about what this new family will be like.

As for her method, Madison says, “During Critique Circles, I write down the feedback I receive in a notebook. After the critique circle, I get onto my laptop while the meaning of each piece of feedback is still fresh in my mind and I make changes that are quick to do.… For changes that need more research, I leave those until I can get that research done. I leave other changes until I finish my first draft so I know for sure which direction I want my story to go before I make those changes.”

Not every critique offered to Madison meant a change – it’s up to each writer to sift which critiques bear action, which to ponder further, and which ones to ignore. But in this short example, you can see how Madison’s edits strengthened the story she is telling.

Critique Circles for prose are offered on the second Tuesday and third Wednesday of the month, and for poetry on the last Tuesday of the month. A new BIPOC group meets on the last Thursday of the month. For instructions on attending these virtual sessions, which are free for members, email with “Critique Session” in the subject line.